Wedding Tips that no one tells you

10. Everyone makes a list of things to pack, but you should also make a list of things to bring back.

Have you spent hours creating those programmes/fans? Did you create your own photo booth? Have you hand-crafted several ornate decorations that you plan to hang onto for several years? You'd be amazed at what people leave on site and forget to collect, simply because they think someone else has arranged to bring these keepsakes back.

Very often these things aren't noticed until you come back from honeymoon, in which case the venue may have unwittingly thrown them out. The best way to circumvent this is to not only give your bridal party a list of things you must have back from the venue, but make sure the venue coordinator has a list of this as well. That way, if anything gets lost in the shuffle your venue coordinator will know to hang onto it for you until you get back from honeymoon, or can make other arrangements for delivery.

9. Assign someone you trust to download as many photos as possible before your guests leave the party.

…brief a trusted friend to be your photo catcher. Their job is to download as many memory sticks as possible onto a designated laptop before your guests leave.

All of us already know that one of the great thing about weddings today is that almost everyone brings a digital camera. And although many of us also hire professional photographers, we still would like copies of the photos our guests have taken.

The best way to expedite this process is to brief someone who is a trusted friend to be your photo catcher. Their job is to download as many memory sticks as possible onto a designated laptop before your guests leave. If you catch people right then and there you have a much better chance of getting all the images you'd like and without the hassle of chasing them down later.

You'll probably also have the best luck getting images if your photo catcher is NOT in the wedding party. We asked my dad to take on this role, but as a member of the wedding party he got waylaid with other duties at the time.

8. You may have already been advised to make sure to take some time for you and FH during the big day. But try to make some time just for yourself, too.

One of the things I found during the wedding was that from 7am I had no time to myself. There was always someone in my room, always someone who had question, always a well wisher and always someone ready with a camera. It can become difficult to keep energy levels up when you're "on show" for twelve or more hours at a stretch. I found myself wishing for a few minutes every few hours or so just to be able to go somewhere quiet and collect my thoughts / recharge my batteries / have a glass of water / check my lipstick or just be uninterrupted for a few minutes so I could then enjoy the day more.

7. Which brings me to assigning a poking coordinator…

Having a trusted family member or friend help create space around you can be extremely helpful and allow you to enjoy those hugs…

Having a trusted family member or friend help create space around you can be extremely helpful and allow you to enjoy those hugs… but to also make sure you don't OD on being stroked before the end of the day.

6. If you find yourself freaking out a little, do something more "normal."

Yes, I had my awesome shoes, my awesome dress, my awesome OTHER dress and every decoration that made me and FH smile under the sun. It was most certainly Our Party. However, there were times in the day I felt distant from it all. There were times I still felt disconnected from everything that was happening. I reached a real turning point in the evening when I was tired of feeling like someone other than myself –- comfy clothes and comfy shoes aside. I put down the bubbles and grabbed a beer instead and found an old friend who sat for ten minutes and told me about her life for a while.

I should say that I drink bubbles outside of weddings so swapping champers for beer wasn't really the issue. But it was such a relief to not talk about me, the wedding or our hopes for the future. Having those ten minutes to sit in the back corner, drink a beer and chatter on about nothing at all really helped me feel more like myself again. If you have a friend who doesn't feel obligated to only talk about your wedding, spending a little time with them could be a welcome break!

5. Brief your key speakers/celebrants on anything they need to know about your guests.

This probably sounds like an inane comment, but in actuality I found myself briefing both our celebrant and my mom in regarding what our friends and families would need to know.

For example, we really wanted our guests to ask us our vows and to also pronounce us. Our celebrant totally got where we were going with this and was happy to lead everyone in these sections. But we were still worried that our guests would be so surprised to take on this role that it would be so quiet that we'd only hear a tumbleweed go by. We went back to our celebrant and asked her to write a preamble to set everyone's expectations about their role in the service up front –- and yes, as a result their voices were as loud as we hoped they would be!

Similarly, I didn't know much about my mom's speech but I did know she was planning to weave in the Jewish tradition of the breaking of the glass. It suddenly occurred to me that she would expect to produce the glass, have Hubby stomp on it and that everyone would applaud. In actuality, 99% of our guests were Church of England, and I had to advise her that if she wanted everyone to applaud and yell out "Mazel Tov" she needed to tell them in advance. She then amended her speech to include a very short definition of Mazel Tov and her favourite reason for the tradition of the breaking of the glass – and everyone applauded and cheered when it was broken in the first go.

4. Which leads me to: trust your guests.

We absolutely trusted that when people showed up, they would embrace the journey –- and they did.

There are a lot of comments on the OBT about how friends and family members wig out when something tests their boundaries of what they think a wedding should be. However, we found that our guests were absolutely fascinated by being part of something different. The framework was something recognizable (bride, groom, ceremony, rings) but the details were different enough to keep everyone completely attentive through the entire event. We absolutely trusted that when people showed up, they would embrace the journey –- and they did.

3. Provide a detailed hand over to your wedding party earlier than you think you should.

I know this sounds really corporate, to have a hand over meeting. But if you have an offbeat wedding, you may need to pass the reigns over to someone else earlier than you think you need to.

In most of our cases we have someone in our lives we can trust and who has been part of the planning process with you every step of the way. In my case, it was my two sisters. However, they were still sort of on the periphery until the day I sat down with them (about two weeks before the wedding) and went through a very detailed, exhaustive document with all my thoughts about how the day would run.

Bless my sisters for printing these documents out, scribbling their notes all over them and delivering the most seamless day an event planner ever could have hoped for. And bless them for also sharing this with the onsite coordinator… and all the ushers. I absolutely know that if I hadn't given them enough time to own the process on their own, it wouldn't have worked as well as it did.

2. When it's all over, remember to thank your vendors… publicly.

If you really love your vendor, one of the greatest gifts you can give them is to… write something that could sway couples to call that company.

Like most OBTers I've had a little love-in with nearly all my vendors. I simple cannot believe that they've taken some sketchy brief and come back with designs, flowers, decorations, etc., that completely surpassed my expectations. After the wedding I wrote each one an incredibly detailed thank you as I wanted them to be able to use my comments as a testimonial to share with other brides and grooms.

If you really love your vendor, one of the greatest gifts you can give them is not just a letter of profuse thanks, but to also take it upon yourself to find a public site that rates said vendor and write something that could sway couples to call that company. I know it's not really in our job descriptions to act as their marketing departments. But as so many of them went out of their way for me, I am genuinely moved to want to make a difference to their business.

1. Have a registry? DON'T write thank you letters in advance.

You've probably guessed by now that I'm a Type A personality. And when I read an online suggestion to write thank you letters in advance as guests start to buy gifts or make donations, I jumped at the idea. So precise, so organised! And I would be able to express my thanks without suffering perhaps quite as much letter fatigue as someone who wrote them all in one go (i.e. after the wedding).

What I found through the planning process is what everyone else here has found. That it is inevitable we will need colossal amounts of help before everything is over. And until it's all over you really can't get your head around who has helped you in ways that really need to be acknowledged more than the toaster you may receive.

Right -– so that's my top 10 then! Although I'm now an old married woman (7 Years!), I'm really curious what lessons and advice YOU would give others –- every day is a new learning experience.

The Mangalsutra

(Image source:meenajewelers.com)

Indian brides, across the different diverse cultures and communities, wear a number of beautiful ornaments that signify their new marital status. One of the most recognized symbols or pieces of jewellery, especially in predominantly Hindu cultures, is the Mangalsutra. It is one of the many fascinating bridal ornaments seen in this culture rich nation.

Hindu weddings comprise of many rituals and sacred ceremonies that mark the beginning of the coming together of two people and their spiritual advancement. The word mangalsutra comes from mangal = auspicious or holy and sutra = thread. Generally, the groom ties the mangal sutra around his bride’s neck during the wedding ceremony signifying their marital union. It is normally done amidst the holy deities and chants and prayers by the priest. In some communities thread is used during the ceremony and later replaced by the beaded mangalsutra.

Most married Hindu women in India wear this sacred symbol of wedlock and it is called different things within different communities in Northern and Southern parts of the country (for example: thaali or maangalyam). The mangalsutra also has different variations regarding the look of this precious necklace. You will find mangalsutras made of small black, gold or red beads and gold disk like pendants, also coral beads and even multi-hued cords with varying pendants. The commonly used black beads are said to ward off the evil eye.

Modern Indian brides have a plethora of designs to choose from and often opt for stunning diamond pendants or intricately designed gold and platinum pendants added to their beaded mangalsutras. Bridal jewelry of India has evolved drastically with very sophisticated designs of traditional wedding jewellery.

Indian Brides: Mahasrtrian Brides

(Image Credit : Tanishq)

A traditional Maharashtrian bride is beautifully attired in a green Paithani nine yard saree on the wedding day. The green colour stands for fertility and is considered to be very auspicious for the bride. Paithani sarees are famous hand woven silk sarees from Maharashtra usually embroidered using pure gold threads. Distinctive motifs like peacocks, mangoes, lotus, and coconuts are found embroidered in the sari border and pallu.

Maharashtrian bridal jewelry is simple yet elegant. Brides from Maharashtra wear something called as mundavalya – stings of pearls tied horizontally across the forehead in a cascade from the temples down to the shoulders, framing the face. Matching to the saree the bride wears green glass bangles along with gold bangles. The bride also wears a nath- nose ring studded with pearl and bead and chandrakor (crescent moon) bindi.

Tanmani- is a typical Maharashtrian necklace. It has three or four strings of pearls with a central pendant, or seven or eight strings of pearls attached to a green bead in the centre. Also seven pearl earrings and silver toe rings are a must.

Indian Brides Collection

Photo Courtesy : Tanishq – Blushing bride – Sharon Nayak

A land which is vast and diverse in culture, yet incredibly rich in heritage, where languages and customs change every few kilometers, but are yet bound by common traditions….India. A place where celebration knows no bounds and every affair is rejoiced in the most extravagant manner…especially weddings!! They are one of the most celebrated affairs in India.

Wedding traditions across most cultures in India overlap in some way but most are still unique to their region and differ in many ways. Similarly, Indian wedding outfits vary from state to state in terms of patterns, styles, textures, designs and jewelry depending on the local culture, craftsmanship, availability of raw material, traditions and climate.

Like, in most states, Red is considered an auspicious colour as it brings good luck to the bride while some others consider Green as a lucky colour, because according to them green stands for fertility. The commonality between the bridal outfits would be that, all are extremely opulent in design and are tailored using the most exquisite fabrics but the material would differ from state to state. For example Bengalis bridal saris are made of Banaras silk while a bridal sari in Tamil Nadu is made from Kanjeevaram silk where as an Assamese bridal wear is crafted from Muga silk but as we know all are varieties of silk, but are region specific.

So let’s see which are the traditional wedding outfits for Brides of India across various states, and in which way are they similar or different and how did they inherit the influence form the region.

Do follow our wedding blog to know more about the  Brides of India!!

Indian Bride: The Bengali Bride

Bengali brides usually adorn a vibrant red or a crimson Banarasi saree woven in silk with intricate golden embroidery and a rich brocade zari border. The bride also wears a silk dupatta called chunni over her head. This is similar to the veil worn by Christian brides and something like a tiara known as mukut. This is pinned on her head over the silk chunni.

The bride is considered to be an incarnation of the goddess of wealth – goddess Lakshmi.  She is opulently decked in heavy gold wedding jewelry comprising of a necklace, nose ring, earrings, tikka and anklets. The designs are usually unique and have motifs of flowers, peacocks or butterflies. The wedding jewelry is supposed to bring good luck and charm to the bride and also signifies the continuation of wealth after marriage; hence the heavy wedding jewelry. The bride usually wears three types of bangles namely – Shankha - a conch shell bangle, Pala – a lac bangle and Loha- an iron bangle. These distinguish a Bengali bride from brides of other communities and also signify the marital status of Bengali women.

The most unique feature of a Bengali bride is the artistically painted design of white and red dots on her forehead just above the eyebrows which extends to her cheeks and the chin. This enhances her look and makes her look like a princess. A big red bindi in the centre of her forehead along with the sacred vermilion and skillfully applied alta on her hands and feet, completes the look of the Bengali bride.

Indian Brides: The Tamil Bride

(Image Courtesy : Tanishq)

The traditional wedding attire for Iyengar and Iyer brides from Tamil Nadu is a 9-yard Kanjeevaram silk saree draped in madisar style. The madisar style of draping the sari is a little different and more complicated than the regular style of draping a 6-yard saree. These sarees are usually in hues of green, maroon or red with a heavy gold zari border and buta work.

The other Tamil brides usually opt for the regular 6 yard saree but in contrasting colour combinations like green and red or yellow and maroon. Tamil brides are heavily bejeweled with lot of flowers and gold jewelry. They usually adorn stunning pieces of ancestral temple jewelry studded with precious stones. The bride also wears a special kind of neckwear that is comprised of small sized gold coin pendants.

Apart from the regular bridal jewelry, brides from Tamilnadu wear unique jewelry around their waist and hair. Oddiyanam –an attractive waist belt worn to keep pallu, pleats and folds intact. The bride also wears something known as Nethi – which is the traditional wedding jewelry for the hair usually made of pearl and gold.

The bridal hair do varies from community to community within Tamils. Like for example Iyengar and Iyer brides wear buns on one side their head- known as kondu which are decorated with flowers and gold accessories while other brides from the region, plait their hair and deck them with fresh orange and white flowers. Flowers complete the look of a traditional Tamil bride!

The Proper Way to Remove Makeup

Avoid leaving makeup on through the night - It can clog pores, especially if it is thick makeup or there is a lot on. It is the key to keeping skin looking gorgeous, especially. However, it can be tricky to make sure all of it is gone.

Remove any eye makeup Use a gentle makeup remover just for eye makeup. Regular makeup remover can irritate the eyes. Make sure you get most off, if not all, of any eyeliner and mascara you had on, as well as some eye shadow.

Steam your pores Drape a towel over your head and hold it over a sink of hot, steaming water. This opens your pores and is easier for cleansing.

Remove your lip color Apply a small dab of makeup remover to your lips, and gently rub it in with cotton.

For your eyes For a perfect eye shape, use a small brush to blend a medium tone color from just below the brow arch downwards in a semi-circle motion. Line your eyelids with a pencil and blend a darker shade into the crease and outer corner. Shadow application should be from inner to outer corners. Complete your glam look with ultra dramatic lashes. Sweep some mascara across the lashes to complete the glam look. Always apply mascara in a zigzag motion, this helps in avoiding clumps.

Use a gentle face wash Most of your makeup should come off on this stage. Be sure the face wash is gentle and you don't scrub harshly. Your skin has been covered in makeup all day and it needs to breath!

Remove any eye makeup that ran while you washed your face It's pretty common to see a bit of mascara or eyeliner under your eyes, and very easy to remove with a dampened cotton swab.

Close your pores with a splash of cool water Rub in some moisturizer to soothe your skin.

Pat your face dry with a towel and rub in a light moisturizer The rigor of the removal of makeup can dry out your skin in irritation. Soothe this with a light moisturizer. <a href="http://khushsingh.com/">Khush Singh - Celebrity &amp; Indian Bridal Makeup Artist</a>

Indian Brides: A Gujarait Bride

Image Courtesy : Anil Tohani

The traditional outfit of a Gujarati bride is a saree draped in the Gujarati style. There are two basic types of wedding sarees in Gujarat the Panetar, which is a white sari with red bandhini border and the Gharchola, the traditional bandhini sari red in colour, with crisscrossed woven gold squares, enclosing small ethnic bandhini motifs or auspicious symbols like a lotus or a peacock embroidered in gold in the center.

Image Courtesy : Anil Tohani

During the wedding ceremony the bride wears a Panetar which is considered to be the last garment she receives from her parents. During the ceremony her mother in law gifts her with a Gharchola which signifies that the bridegroom’s family is ready to take all her responsibility from that day on. Most Gharcholas have traditional patterns like “bavan bagh” that is Fifty-Two Gardens or “Ras Leela” which is the depiction of Lord Krishna dancing with his Gopis and are woven and dyed in Kutch, but the final red color is given in Jamnagar. According to an old belief the waters of Jamnagar are said to have auspicious properties which when used for dying a bridal Gharchola saree will produce the most brilliant shade of red that a bride can ever have for her wedding ceremony.

The Gujarati bride is decked with royal and expensive gold, kundan and diamond ornaments. Her hair is tied back neatly in a stylish bun or braid over which the dupatta is attached with a pin. A matha tikka is pinned through the parting of the hair with a chain. A bindi is put in the centre of the forehead below the matha tikka. Heavily jeweled necklaces along with equally heavy earrings are worn. A bajuband or armlet is tied around the forearm and a combination of gold and glass bangles are worn on the hands. A waist band is tied on the waist. The bride also wears anklets and toe rings around the feet. The most beautiful ornament which beautifies the brides look is the nose ring known as nath. This is put on the left nostril which has a long chain and the end of the chain is attached to the hair.

It is believed that the tie and dye technique was brought to Kutch from Sindh by Muslim Khatris and the locals have inherited this art and incorporated it in their lifestyle. Hence the bride wears a bandhini saree which is highly unique to the region.

Booking a Wedding Trial with a Professional Makeup & Hair Artist

It’s no secret that good makeup artists are in high demand all year long but in particular during peak spring/summer wedding seasons. It just makes sound sense to book your chosen makeup artist well in advance. I recommend spending some time looking over different makeup artists portfolio’s and this can be done easily over the web. Find someone who’s style is similar to your own. Look for reviews and recommendations from past clients. Once you’ve chosen your favorite artist, contact him or her and book a wedding trial. I always suggest booking a wedding trial as far in advance as possible however essentially carrying out the trial 2 -3 months prior to your wedding day. The earlier you book your trial the more likely you are to get the most talented and "in demand" artist working for you on your wedding day. Most makeup and hair artists require a deposit before confirming your date. Find out the terms and conditions of your chosen artist and be sure you are clear on how your date will be held. You may also need to put a deposit towards your wedding day prior to your trial taking place if you are concerned your wedding date may be taken by someone else. "In demand" artists are often booked a year in advance especially during the popular summer wedding weekends.

Before your trial, be sure and take clippings of makeup and hair styles from magazines that you like. Be open and honest with your artist, tell him or her if you have any skin or hair problems and be honest about what you really want from the experience. Listen to your makeup artist, take his or her advice on what works for your skin and hair type. The best professional makeup and hair artists have been well trained and should have a keen eye for detail.

Work closely together with your artist and the results will be incredible and exactly what you were hoping for.

<a href="http://khushsingh.com/">Khush Singh - Celebrity &amp; Indian Bridal Makeup Artist</a>

Indian Brides: A Punjabi Bride

Image Courtesy : AJ Studio

The traditional Punjabi bridal wear is Shalwar and Kameez along with a heavily embroidered Dupatta which would cover the head. The outfit is usually of Patiala style. This was originally the attire of the royal families of Punjab. The Patiala Shalwar has many pleats that gather towards the waistline and drape below gracefully. The Kameez is a knee length fitted top. Usually the outfit is in hues of Red with a lot of embellishments intricately embroidered with unique motifs and sequence.

Image courtesy : Rob & Lauren

The bride traditionally wears gold jewelry and matching foot wear. The parting of her hair is decorated with a gold ornament called the Tikka. The bride wears bangles made of ivory known as Chooda. These are White and dark Red in colour and hold great significance to the bride. They are usually in multiples of four and according to the tradition the bride must wear it at least for a year after her marriage. But nowadays brides wear the Chooda only for a month after the wedding.

Friends and sisters-in-law tie Kalire, a hanging ornament made of gold or silver on these bangles. Kalire’s are encrusted with dried coconut and dried beetle nuts. It is said that after the wedding the bride rubs her hands against each other to drop the Kalire on the heads of unmarried girls, and who so ever gets the Kalire first is expected to get married within a short period.

There is a similar tradition practiced by Catholic brides. Towards the end of the wedding celebrations, when the bride is about to depart, she throws her bridal bouquet to a group of unmarried girls following her, and whichever girl catches it is expected to get married next.

Isn’t it interesting…both these cultures are so different yet, some of the traditional practices they follow have similar significance.

Indian Brides: Kashmiri

(Image Credit: www.flickr.com/photos/youngdoo)

Kashmir Pundit brides wear beautifully embroidered lehengas, usually red in colour with a lot of glitz. If not Red, it can be Pink or Yellow in colour.  They also wear a head gear known as Kalpush. It is an extensive cap folded three or four times and is lined either with silk or cotton from the inside. A white color cloth known as Zoojh is wrapped in three to four layers over Kalpush and a glace paper is stitched over the Zoojh. This entire head wear is known as Tarang. The lehenga has a lot of zari work done using golden threads and is blended with Kashmiri embroidery. The Dupatta is put over the head wear and enhances the look of the bride.

The bride adorns heavy gold jewelry around the neck, gold bangles on the hands and Paayal and toe ring in the feet.  A special and very unique ornament known as Dejharoo is worn by a Kashmiri bride. Dejharoo is a pair of gold pendants hanging on a gold chain through the holes in the ear lobes. This holds the similar significance in Kashmiri pundits as a mangalsutra does among Hindus. A waist band which is two meter long and a half a meter wide is also forms an integral part of the bridal wear.

Kashmiri Muslim Bride

Kashmiri Muslim brides wear beautifully embroidered traditional outfit known as Pheran, which is a long loose fitting robe and is well suited for the cold weather conditions. It is usually Red in colour. They wear a similar head gear to the Kashmiri Pundit brides but it is known differently.  They call it Kasaba. It varies from the Tarang as it is simply a cloth of any colour of your choice which is held tight by silver pins and trinklets. It is decorated with gold embroidery and embellishments of silver pendants hanging on the forehead.

These brides usually wear heavy bunches of silver jewelry which shines and can be noticed from a distance. The jewelry also, includes heavy Jhoomar style earrings which are supported by thick silver chain, necklace, bracelets and Paayal around the ankle.

This was just a peek into the Kashmiri culture. As you see there is so much diversity within the two kinds of Kashmiri bridal outfits but at the same time they are similar in some ways. Stay tuned for more on Indian weddings & Indian brides from Marry Me!

Indian Brides: Malayalee Bride

The bridal attire of a Malayalee Hindu bride is very simple and elegant. The traditional bridal dress consists of a two piece cream colour saree called Set Mundu with a thick woven gold zari border. But very few brides choose to dress in the traditional Set Mundu today. Instead they opt for expensive Kancheepuram silk saris, which are available in plenty of bright colours like red, maroon, magenta, green and blue.

Though the bridal saree is quite simple, the jewelry complementing it is very unique and heavy and forms a very important part of the bridal attire. The jewelry designs are inspired by nature or temple statues mainly consisting of motifs like paisley, rice grains, melon seeds, cobra heads or birds and usually crafted in red and green semi precious stones. The jewelry from this region is commonly known as Temple jewelry.

A Malayalee bride is heavily decked with bridal jewelry from head to toe. The piece of jewelry worn along the parting of the hair is known as Netti Chutti. It is very similar to Mang Tikka which is worn by brides from northern parts of India but the design and style of a Netti Chutti is very different from a Mang Tikka. Typical hanging earrings in the shape of an umbrella known as Jhimkis are worn and suspended by an artistic chain called Maattal which goes around the ear. The hair is adorned by a stone studded ornamental chain which is worn over the plait is known as Tirukkuppu. The bride also adorns various gold necklaces with designs inspired by temple borders and comprise of a gold disc in the centre with different designs and motifs of goddesses. These necklaces are traditionally called – Nagapada thali, Laxmi thali, Palakka mala and Kasu mala. The bride also wears a combination of gold and stone studded bangles along with other pieces of jewellery like gold anklets known as Padaswarams, a waist band embellished with pearls and stones, a stone studded nose ring and a gold armlet.

Though Malayalee bridal jewelry is known for its bold and heavy designs, brides these days are opting for more contemporary designs and are switching from the yellow gold to diamond and platinum jewelry.